


While you were sleeping

by awakeuntilsunrise



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cuddling & Snuggling, Feelings Realization, First Meetings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hella ooc i think im sorry, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, No beta we die like lmanburg, Pining, Requited Love, SAPnap really lived up to his name. get it? ahahahaha, Sharing a Bed, Sleepovers, Soft Sapnap, Touch-Starved Karl, Watching Someone Sleep, but its not the creepy type and more of the soft admiration type, corona who? we dont know her, kind of I think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awakeuntilsunrise/pseuds/awakeuntilsunrise
Summary: Sapnap and Karl meet up and stay over at the former's house for a week. It's just two bros sharing one bed, less than a foot apart but they ain't gay for each other (yet)...unless? Featuring literally sleeping together, admiring the homie in a soft way while they're sleeping and painful, painful pining and yearning.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 62
Kudos: 544





	1. There you are beautiful, quietly

**Author's Note:**

> *insert that disclaimer that i dont ship them irl, only their personas and i will take this mfer down if they become uncomfy*
> 
> obviously shit grammar bc english is not my first language and i never listened to my english language classes either. also while writing this it feels like im writing a crack fic bc of how ooc i feel it is
> 
> chapter title is from "i ain't perfect" by IV of spades, they've got banger music
> 
> anyway hopefully you enjoy my word vomit lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapnap found himself looking at Karl, who was closer than before. God that feeling...thing from the pillow fight is back for round two. The older was deep in sleep, eyes fluttering, lips parted slightly, with no worry lines on his face. He must’ve been sleeping well or even dreaming, the younger thought. Sapnap stared more at Karl, inspecting his face.
> 
> Karl looks so...
> 
> Peaceful.
> 
> That feeling of fuzziness and warmth back at the airport returned, seeping in his chest. It grew, steady like a plant.
> 
> He’s pretty.
> 
> No, scratch that— He’s beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert that disclaimer that i dont ship them irl, only their personas and i will take this mfer down if they become uncomfy*
> 
> obviously shit grammar bc english is not my first language and i never listened to my english language classes either. also while writing this it feels like im writing a crack fic bc of how ooc i feel it is
> 
> chapter title is from "i ain't perfect" by IV of spades, they've got banger music
> 
> anyway hopefully you enjoy my word vomit lol

Earlier that day, Sapnap picked Karl up from the airport. Nervousness and excitement swelled in his chest - the sun was up in the blue sky, searing everything it touched. The airport was full of people, as usual, their voices mixing in the background. The Texan paid no mind to it, his mind focused on one thing: finding Karl.

The two had planned this meet-up some time ago, unlike Skeppy's, which was sudden to rile up the stans. Karl would be staying at Sapnap's house for a week, not too long nor short. It didn't take long for Sapnap and Karl to spot each other in the crowd, baggages were momentarily forgotten as they rushed to embrace each other.

After breaking the hug, Karl bounced on his heels and jumped in his place, unable to contain his excitement. The older man put his hands on top of Sapnap’s shoulder and looked at him. His gray eyes were beaming and the red on his cheeks made his smile brighter. Sapnap sights the burgundy sweater that Karl already saw in one of his streams (it never looked old for him - he looked adorable, even). God, his outfits were always wonderful. "Sapnap! You’re really here, I can’t believe this!" he greeted. The older was cheery as always, making the younger feel something fuzzy and warm inside.

_He's finally here. I can’t process it._

Sapnap greeted him back with a smile. "Hey Karl, guess we can flex that we met up before George and Dream did," he said, making the both of them howl in laughter.

The trip back home was full of, for lack of a better phrase, unrestrained energy. The boys were in the car singing along to the songs in the background, not caring about their accuracy, enjoying themselves like in their karaoke streams. All was well in their little bubble.

Karl was warmly received in their household, with Sapnap's relatives asking about the visitor with interest. When their energy died down, the two decided to go to Sapnap's room. They told each other stories, old tales about the Mr. Beast crew, George, and of course, Dream. 

The two decided to have their alone time despite being so close to each other - Sapnap fiddling with his phone and Karl watching some show with his laptop on the bed. 

Suddenly, a pillow hit the dark-haired boy’s face, making him look in the direction where it came from to see Karl deviously grinning at him. A pillow fight? _What a piece of cake._

“Alright, Mr. Karl Jacobs, you are going down!” He said playfully, grabbing a pillow to hit Karl.

The man in question hurriedly closed his laptop and put it somewhere safe while also grabbing a pillow to defend himself. Karl sticks his tongue out to taunt Sapnap. 

“Nuh-uh, Sappy Nappy! You are!”

Sapnap clutches his pillow tighter and raises it, ready to hit Karl when he feels an impact on his side. First Blood. “Karl!”, Sapnap yells as the other giggles. Karl hurriedly gets off the bed, feet heavy on the floor as he moves away from Sapnap. The younger chases after him, blood pumping and eyes alert, looking for any movement from his opponent. The grip on their pillows tightens in anticipation. They circle each other, stalling before Sapnap finally moves forward and hits Karl right in the face, disorienting him. The taller man slowly blinks his eyes, trying to get back to his senses that made Sapnap worry for a moment, lowering his guard when suddenly, Karl retaliates with his pillow.

“Ah fuck”, the smaller mutters as he saw Karl giving him a smirk before attempting to smack him with his pillow but he dodges. Soon they fall into a rhythm of evading from each other and getting hit by their pillows. The pillow fight was starting to get boring till Karl tackled Sapnap’s legs, making both of them lose their balance and hit the hard floor. The pillow fight turned into a wrestling match as they let go of their pillows and use their limbs instead.

The fight for dominance continues as the two roll over and bump on each other. Karl was under Sapnap till he remembers that he’s taller than the latter. Karl grabs Sapnap’s wrists and flips them over, pinning Sapnap down by sitting on his stomach. The younger struggles, attempting to wriggle his way out but was rendered trapped by Karl’s weight and gives up. He lets out a frustrated breath as a sign of resignation.

Karl triumphed, beaming down at Sapnap and feeling smug about his victory. Sapnap felt proud, having gotten into an actual fight before, so it was a feat to beat him in roughhousing.

As much as Sapnap felt pride for the North Carolinian, a growing heavy feeling set in the pit of his stomach. Karl was so close to him - _literally_ on top of the Texan, a restraining grip on his wrists. The two hold their gazes at each other, eyes widening and blushing at each second. _‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god’_ , Sapnap’s mind rambled. The proximity was _too much_ and _too little_ at the same time. Their breaths quicken. The warmth of the older man was starting to seep through Sapnap, making the younger awkwardly look at the side and clear his throat.

“H-honking get off me, your ass is suffocating me or something,” Sapnap blurted out. Karl giggled awkwardly, moving on from that little moment, and batted his eyelashes at the boy. “Oh, so you’re saying that I have a massive badonkadonk? A colossal dump truck that can beat Dream’s?” Sapnap snickered at the reply, “Just shut up.” The older man lets go of his wrists and ruffles his hair before getting off the pinned man.

“Heh, love ya too,” Karl says with a wink.

Sapnap fucking _chokes_ at those words, the heat on his cheeks growing. Now _that_ made him feel _things_.

After the pillow fight, the two decided to retire for the night, having used up all their energy and to get away from... _whatever_ that happened a while ago. Yet the touches lingered. _Tingled,_ even.

Sapnap found himself waking up in the middle of the night, under the comforting blanket of darkness. It was a bit cold, and soft breathing could be heard. Sapnap was facing away from Karl in the bed. It did not take much convincing and a pair of puppy eyes from the light-haired boy to share it with him. There was a bit of space between them, an attempt to make this less awkward (they were homiesexuals, but whatever).

His sight and mind were still blurry from sleep. Sapnap treats it as a rude awakening, considering all they did earlier. After a while, Sapnap became finally conscious, his brain itching to entertain itself. He felt a tug but didn’t know where it led. Yet he followed, turning himself to the other side.

Sapnap found himself looking at Karl, who was closer than before. _God that feeling...thing from the pillow fight is back for round two._ The older was deep in sleep, eyes fluttering, lips parted slightly, with no worry lines on his face. _He must’ve been sleeping well or even dreaming_ , the younger thought. Sapnap stared more at Karl, inspecting his face.

_Karl looks so..._

_Peaceful._

That feeling of fuzziness and warmth back at the airport returned, seeping in his chest. It grew, steady like a plant.

_He’s pretty._

_No, scratch that_ _—_ _He’s_ **_beautiful._ **

_Wait._ Pausechamp. He was bewildered by that. _What the fuck?_

The warmth faded fast, guilt starting to form in its place. It was already weird to watch people in their sleep, especially if they were your friend. Also, at whatever he thought a while ago. He called Karl 'cute' one time. Just your average friends flirting with each other, fueling the homiesexual bit - but now, unironically thinking about him like that? Did he forget to put his socks on?

He hadn't expected everything to unfold.

And yet Sapnap couldn't pull his gaze away from Karl.

Just like that damn pillow fight from earlier. 

It was like looking at a trainwreck except it wasn’t. He was looking at a work of art.

His mind drifts to how Karl jumped in his place whenever he got excited or happy. Or how Karl's energy fits his or even with anyone perfectly. The North Carolinian has his loud moments sometimes, but so does he. And it's just the way it was - completely understandable. Sapnap was amazed at how genuine, thoughtful, and supportive Karl could be. And how good he was at Among Us which instantly made him a target for the Impostors. Or how Karl was so determined to practice Parkour Warrior a lot to help their team, perfecting that one stupidly difficult part of the minigame. He even served looks and fits for a gamer (not gonna lie, most of them just wore a hoodie or t-shirt and then call it a fit).

And his smiles?

His smiles were as bright as the sun. So warm that it always reached him.

Maybe that was why Sapnap felt his exhaustion go away when Karl smiled at him back at the airport - wanting to make him smile and laugh always. Maybe that was why he was drawn to him. He thoroughly enjoyed Karl's company. Sapnap realized how soft and sappy (haha) he was being right now but the man couldn’t bring himself to care. What he said was true anyway.

The feeling from earlier bloomed stronger.

_Maybe I just love him._

_Oh._

**Oh.**

Sapnap brings his hands to his face, feeling the heat gathering in his cheeks. His mind and heart cooperated for once, yet he was unsure if he could follow. The younger put his hands back on the bed to see if the other was still asleep. The warmth in his chest starts caving in deeper, starting to _hurt_.

_Devil may care, Karl deserved the world - especially love - and as his friend - or even more - I will shower him with it,_ Sapnap thought.

_More, huh?_

Having a revelation about being gay for your friend in the middle of the night was... a surreal experience. And all Sapnap could do now was just accept it. Who knows if they’d fade in the morning? Who knows if the fog of sleep was still affecting him? Maybe it would clear up in the morning and the feelings would disappear - that everything was just a bit. Thinking about these taxed him.

But a part of him _yearns_ about his feelings being real and their reciprocation.

_God, I need to sleep,_ he said to himself.

Sapnap closed his eyes, fatigue slowly carrying him back to the world in his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this because i fell into karlnap bc their dynamic is so POGCHAMP like holy shit. i was also feeling gay and soft when i started writing this and wanted to get those feelings out bc makes me so giddy that i literally cant sleep without adding some part to this.
> 
> i also love karl im just hajkasfaskasd
> 
> btw im trying to add karl's part to this. hopefully...
> 
> also that weed karlnap fic is still living in my mind rent free. what a banger fic we need more fics in this tag


	2. Sleepin’ on the bed we made right next to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Karl, will you stay?” Sapnap said, breaking the silence between them. His voice was wavering as sobs followed. “When I wake up, are you still gonna be here at my side?”
> 
> Karl wants to hold him and make those heartbreaking noises go away. His heart threatens to burst with tenderness.
> 
> “I will, I promise. Now go to sleep nimrod.”, he replies with a giggle.

Karl suddenly wakes up, head still buzzing with thoughts he had before drifting off to sleep. The North Carolinian sits up to the side of the bed and plants his hands beside him. Karl kicks the air to release the uncontrollable giddiness.

_ I'm here! Sapnap's here! _

It's been three days since Karl came from North Carolina to Texas for the meetup. and he still can't process it. When Sapnap offered him to meet up and even stay in his house, Karl was ecstatic. He finally got to visit one of his close friends, especially the one he vibes the most with! Karl prepares eagerly and puts on what he thinks is his best outfit. He wants things to be perfect.

The 3-hour plane ride felt long and exhausting but he broke free with a burst of energy the moment he saw Sapnap in the crowd. Like he really is present, just a few steps away from him. Heat spreads through his body and cheeks making him smile. They run to hug each other like something from a cliche romance movie.

As Karl embraces Sapnap, he feels joy as he finally gets to hear and hold his friend like this. No distance or computer screens dividing them. As much as Karl gets touchy and hugs his friends all the time, this one felt...different. Like coming back home and feeling the warmth and familiarity. It’s weird since he only met Sapnap in real life for the first time but he’ll take it. All Karl was able to do is smile.

The past few days went fast, from arriving in this house to just lounging around. Selfies were taken together and posted, making the stans go wild. Occasionally, Karl invades Sapnap’s stream by speaking in the background, other times he chills in the background scrolling through his phone. Whenever the two don’t feel like doing anything, they played games together or went outside to see what Texas could offer. Karl wishes he could stay longer but Jimmy and the Mr. Beast crew are waiting back at home. Maybe one day.

Now Karl found himself bored after all that reminiscing. The silence of his surroundings was not helping him. Karl wonders if Sapnap is still asleep, thinking that they could talk while being sleep-deprived until one of them dozes off. Karl turns his head to the side to see his answer.

He sees the man in question facing him, still sleeping yet something was wrong. Sapnap's face was scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a thin line. Soon, his breath became quicker as he tosses and turns. Concern rises inside Karl. _Seems like a nightmare,_ he speculated. Seeing the younger in distress made Karl feel something heavy that made his chest hurt. He puts his hand on Sapnap’s arm and gently shakes to wake him up.

Sapnap slowly awakens, eyes glassy as he blinks through sleep and his tears. Glints of light are caught in the droplets, making his tears look like stars (if only it was because of happiness but alas, that’s not the situation right now). Faint sobs can be heard from him, making Karl’s heart clench. “ _ Sapnap, _ ” he calls to him, soft and reassuring. The man in question looks up, tear streaks in his cheeks that give Karl an urge to wipe them away.

Karl puts one of his hands on the younger’s shoulders and leans down, slowly brings the other to Sapnap’s face. He tries his best to be gentle, gingerly wipes the tears away. Sapnap leans into the touch, making the older blush.

“Nightmare. Friends, especially you guys left me and I was terrified,” Sapnap said, voice small and shaky. Having a nightmare about your biggest fear is the worst, it feels so real that it haunts you even if you wake up. With how vulnerable Sapnap is right now, Karl wants to comfort him as best as he could. 

“Karl, will you stay?” Sapnap said, breaking the silence between them. His voice was wavering as sobs followed. “When I wake up, are you still gonna be here at my side?”

Karl wants to hold him and make those heartbreaking noises go away. His heart threatens to burst with tenderness.

“I will, I promise. Now go to sleep nimrod.”, he replies with a giggle.

And so Karl lies on his side facing Sapnap, bringing him to his chest with his arms. Sapnap reciprocates the action, bringing them closer. The warmth and touch were healing for the two, giving Karl relief as Sapnap’s breathing started to even out. The North Carolinian raises his hand to run his fingers through Sapnap’s hair. He hums a song he doesn’t care about at the moment to remember the title. 

_ Oh, his hair’s soft. Nice to the touch. _

As Karl absent-mindedly cards through Sapnap's hair, he gets lost in his thoughts. They’ve just met a few months ago, yet Karl got comfortable with Sapnap fast.

It didn't take that much when it came to him. They just somehow...clicked together, blending easily. Like...instant coffee and water? Something like that? Not the best analogy but hopefully the message got across. 

Karl looks back to the time when they had their Love or Hosts, being a familiar presence and guiding each other to get that Love in the end. Or being loud and stupid together in MCC 11 and fooling around in their (now not-so) secret base. Also, he’s grateful that Sapnap didn’t kill his cat despite his reputation in the SMP.

Karl suddenly remembers the boy in his arms and looks down to see Sapnap now sleeping peacefully. The older sighs and smiles as he was able to make Sapnap go back to sleep and halted going through Sapnap’s hair.  _ He gives good hugs, _ Karl thought. He just then realized that they’re  _ cuddling _ .

_ He’s...warm. _

_ This feels nice. _

It’s been ages since Karl got this close to someone, metaphorically and literally. He feels his nerves crackling and relax at the same time. Something he didn’t expect to feel while being all touchy with Sapnap, unlike with his friends. The feeling is weird but nice in a way that he wants more of it.

If he could only make this moment last longer, not minding anything in the world. Not minding boundaries that are as fragile as glass, one wrong action, and everything breaks. Maybe he wouldn't have to think about it if they're together-

_ If Sapnap and I would be together? _

The thought made Karl blush and look away from Sapnap. 

Although the same thought made Karl feel soft and warm. The lovey-dovey kind of warmth.

And that’s where  _ it _ clicks.

Karl still remembers how in the past few days how jumpy he and the Texan was whenever they had physical contact. The warmth on places they had contact lingers longer than it should, making him cling on it till it fades. Or how Sapnap can make him laugh with his stupid jokes. His flirtatious comments and compliments never fail to make Karl flustered despite having the whole homisexual bit. And how the older was eager to Facetime or be in a stream with the younger. Karl considers himself lucky being able to see the younger’s soft side underneath his loud persona, he even finds it endearing. He still loves Jimmy and the others but what the  _ honk _ , these feelings are built different. 

And that pillow fight. Karl wanted to be closer to that warmth, to wrap his arms around the smaller and bask in it. Hold Sapnap tight and never let go. Or maybe jump off the edge, caress his face and close the gap between them. Crash his lips-

Karl groans in frustration before remembering that Sapnap is sleeping in his arms. He mutters a ‘sorry’ as he restarts to pet the boy’s hair.

_ Am I  _ **_this_ ** _ touch-starved? Affection-starved even? _

_ But I don’t mind affection from Sap. Maybe I’ll even- _

That was probably the fateful domino piece that knocked everything into its place.

_ What the honk? So I like-like Sapnap? _

The North Carolinian can’t believe he just realized  _ it _ now but it’s better than never. This is still confusing him but god, Sapnap is just wonderful. He sighs, not believing himself acting like an anime schoolgirl, going all giddy. Karl can’t help the tender feeling blooming in his chest. He doesn’t know what to do with this...admiration yet, but there’s tomorrow and the next days for him to ponder about it. Maybe he’ll revel in it for a while or confess soon (if he doesn’t falter in his words, that’s  _ if _ ).

Karl imagines about the small touches, bear hugs, and cuddles he could give to Sapnap. Or maybe kissing his forehead when he gets the urge to do so. Just even sitting beside the boy makes the older feel relaxed, just vibing in this little bubble of theirs. Anything to show his affection and appreciation if his words fail him. Anything to make the boy feel not alone.

Oh, how Karl just wants to hold him like he’s the whole world.

Karl smiles to himself as he puts his chin on top of Sapnap’s head and hugs him tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for updating after three weeks, writing fluff makes me flustered so much i couldn't handle it physically. KARLNAP MAKES ME SOOOOO SOFT UGH THESE FRATBOYS I HATE IT HERE /J.
> 
> so i was reading other karlnap fics and then in the comments mitroujk suggested that karl's love language could be touch and as a touch starved fuck i SELF PROJECTED SO HARD. touch starved gays gotta yearn i am struggling soooo much :[ . but also what the hell this chap has like 450+ more words than the first chap like did i project too hard???
> 
> hopefully i can get the final chap soon, i've got scenarios on my mind already. hope you enjoyed this and leave kudoses and especially commets. please go nuts there <3


	3. Feels like a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapnap is so lulled by the comfort that Karl gives, he feels bolder. The North Carolinian always makes him feel stronger. He throws caution to the wind.
> 
> “I- just recently realized that- that-”, he attempts.
> 
> Breathe in.
> 
> “I love you, ‘ya know. Heh, maybe more than as a friend.” He takes another breather.” Yeah, more than a friend. You made my life brighter Karl.”, The Texan spoke with fervor and fondness, like a closely guarded secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *falls for best friends*  
> all i know is write, pine for they best friends, self project and cry
> 
> also ik that sap lives with dream rn but we ignoring that, this is kinda set somwhere before january lol
> 
> also sorry for not updating for some time, i was procrastinating on this, being drowned in gacha games and drawing LOTS of art so oops. also i dont know how tenses work /gen i dont like english at all :[ i didnt liked how this chap turned out well bc its lightly edited/unbeta'd rip
> 
> thanks to my friend lizzy for editing this monster of a fic!
> 
> anyway time for 2.somethingk words word of yearning and pining finally im fucking done w this fic

It felt like a dream.

Sapnap’s memories were missing a few pieces, but he clearly remembers Karl.

_ Karl Karl Karl Karl… _

It’s all that his mind rambles about.

Oh, how the older comforted Sapnap about something. A panic attack? A nightmare? Sapnap couldn’t recall or give a fuck about it anymore. He only remembers being held and touched gently, grounding him, reminding him he was there for the boy. A close friend, someone he fell for, another person he can be vulnerable to. The dark-haired boy felt warmth and safety, wanting to stay there forever and savoring all the affection he could get before the sun rises and pops their little bubble.

It felt nice. And  _ surreal _ .

Sapnap wakes up first again, turning to his side to find Karl still asleep, his sweet warmth and limbs embracing him. The faint glow from the rising sun outside making the serene face of the older even softer. The things he would do to wake up to this every day.

Anything? Confessing despite what will happen after? 

Maybe when he finally gets a burst of courage, but not now, maybe soon, and hopefully not never.

Sapnap looks at the sleeping man with fondness, feeling the warmth he had a few nights ago, now that it sets his feelings in stone.

The Texan lays there, watching his frie-crush (he still has a hard time grasping it) in his sleep as the sun rises and shines in its wake. The sunlight hits the right angles of Karl’s face, turning features softer. Sapnap hopes that this isn’t creepy, as he did this on the first night and the other nights where he couldn’t sleep and all he can do is find comfort by looking at the man beside him. Sapnap revels at the sight till a sleepy groan pulls him away from his reverie.

The man of his affections sleepily opens his eyes, giving him an unexplainable look that made Sapnap’s heart crumble (maybe fondness, oh what a wishful thought). “Good mornin’ Sappy”, Karl greeted, voice rough from disuse yet still had a playful tone.

How come he can be hot and cute at the same time?

Sapnap wants to slap himself so hard.

Flustered from his thoughts, the younger clears his throat. “G-good morning to you too, Karl Jacobs.”, he greeted back with a sheepish giggle.

The North Carolinian gets off of their bed and stretches like a cat, entrancing the Texan with his movements. Heat crawls onto his cheeks as he thinks, Holy fuck, I am so easy to capture. Karl turns to Sapnap, offering both his hands while making grabbing motions.

“Get up shortie, we’ve only got around one and a half days left before I go back home and I don’t wanna waste it.”, he said with a noticeable tinge of sadness at the end. Sapnap hesitantly accepts, locking his fingers with Karl’s as he gets pulled up. He squeezes, savoring the warmth of Karl’s hands. Oh my god, they’re so warm. God bless this man, he notes while also cringing internally on how touch starved he is.

Karl lets go of one of his hands and looks eagerly at Sapnap. “Alright, let’s go shall we?”

The boy in question breathes in, still enamored by the older, and nods, letting Karl whisk him away.

* * *

  
  


Sapnap has been noticing Karl showering him with more physical affection for the past few days, always staying close to him as much as possible. Lingering touches, arms around him more often, cuddle times; you name it. It almost feels sickeningly sweet and domestic, except the dark-haired boy can feel the knowing looks from his family. 

_ Maybe that’s just Karl’s love language _ , he thinks. Getting as much as he can before leaving and being far away from each other again. The Texan internally laments, wishing they were something else rather than platonic. He yearns to hold on to those warm and gentle hands like a while ago. To cup Karl’s cheeks as he stares and stares and gets lost in those stormy gray eyes. To pour his heart out as he says those three words to the man he adores.

Maybe he’ll get there, but for now, Sapnap has to wrestle with himself to cross the bridge of confessing his love for his friend. High risk, high pay as they say, right?

* * *

The Texan groans, it’s one of those times where he suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night. His eyelids slowly blink open, adjusting to the dimness of his room, barely illuminated by the lights outside. Sapnap lets out a sad sigh, feeling an emptiness in his chest that he couldn’t explain. Maybe it’s the pining and yearning clawing and crushing his heart, always present when he’s with Karl. Love can nurture, comforting, but also hurts, yet here he is, taking it all like a champ. Sapnap grasps the sheets under his hand, breath shaky and fighting back a sob, not wanting to inconvenience the man sharing the same bed as him. He stares at a wall in the room, an attempt to lull his mind back to sleep, but it doesn’t work.

Sapnap rolls onto his side, expecting Karl’s peacefully sleeping face to greet him, but he sees none. The spot where Karl was is empty and cold. Sapnap’s heartbeat quickens, eyes darting around to find the North Carolinian’s comforting presence. 

And so was he found, sitting legs crossed by the glass door, staring at the night sky with a content smile. The moonlight does wonders to Karl’s features, making him look as serene as the moon above. He stares and stares, entranced at the figure in front of him. God, he looks so fucking pretty. This one takes the cake. The older being released from his daze as he turned his head to Sapnap, hearing him wake up earlier.

Karl gives the boy a fond look, making butterflies flutter inside Sapnap’s stomach. “Good evening, or should I say good morning, Sap?”, he greets sweetly. Sapnap lets out an exhausted sigh, remembering the times when he wakes up in the asscrack of dawn. “Ugh, good morning to you too, Jacobs. I just wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, nothing special really.”, the younger replies.

Karl pats the space beside him with one of his hands, beckoning Sapnap to come and sit right next to him. The Texan complies, dragging his feet till he reaches the spot and sits down. Karl’s warmth was lulling, and he laid his head on the other’s shoulder.

They stay still for a while, basking in each other’s company till Karl turns his head and coughs, grabbing Sapnap’s attention. The younger turns his head to look directly at Karl, blushing in surprise at the proximity of their faces. 

“So,”, Karl starts, “What’s been bothering you lately? You don’t just wake up in the middle of the night for nothing.”, he asks with concern. 

Sapnap squints his eyes before looking away, attempting to hide the red on his face before responding ‘nothing’, nervousness audible in his tone. Karl hums, he knows he can’t force it out of Sapnap, and reaches for the Texan’s hand, rubbing circles with his thumb, a gesture to reassure Sapnap. Karl knows he’s done well when he hears the man beside him let out an exhale of relief.

“I don’t know?”, he croaks out. The boy brings his hands in front of him and rubs them all over his face out of frustration. There are so many emotions inside him that awaken him like being splashed with cold water. “I’m just- thankful that you agreed to meet up with me, spend time with me, keep up with the shit I do. I’m sad that it’s ending soon.” Sapnap wants to savor as much as he could, his affection-starved ness is really doing numbers to his mind. 

“You know, I would’ve stayed longer here if I weren’t so busy with filming, but I... I still enjoyed my time here.” Karl speaks with affirmation and locks his fingers with Sapnap’s, squeezing his hand to emphasize his words. The gesture gave the younger comfort, making him snuggle closer to Karl. His warmth really does wonders, making Sapnap lower his guard, an opportunity for slips of tongues and unfiltered feelings.

The smaller gives out a content sigh. “God, Karl, you’re just wonderful. Y-you’re-” 

_ He’s… _

_ Karl is…  _

And then his mind goes blank and full at the same time. Sapnap inhales deeply as he prepares to spill his heart out.

“You’re just so energetic and bubbly that it’s infectious and I love it. Whenever we hang out together, I really enjoy it, especially now that we’re here. You, your hugs- they’re warm, you’re so warm.”, he looks down sheepishly and lets out another sigh. “You put out so much effort for everything you do, it’s adorable really. And your sweaters too, you look so good on them. Your laughs and giggles are so pretty, you’re just so pretty- fuck!” the boy raises both of his hands in exaggeration.  _ When does Karl  _ not _ look good? _ He still pops off in those ugly sweaters, of all things.  _ Honestly, I couldn’t remember. _

“I’m thankful that you ride with my bullshit all the time, I’m so comfortable with you around. I-I’m comfortable with you. I thank Dream for adding you to the server, letting us meet and you just- just coming into my life.”

Sapnap is so lulled by the comfort that Karl gives, he feels bolder. The North Carolinian always makes him feel stronger. He throws caution to the wind.

“I- just recently realized that- that-”, he attempts.

_ Breathe in. _

“I love you, ‘ya know. Heh, maybe more than as a friend.” He takes another breather.” Yeah, more than a friend. You made my life brighter Karl.”, The Texan spoke with fervor and fondness, like a closely guarded secret. Unspoken words were finally free but as soon as he realized, Sapnap’s eyes widened and he sat up straight.

“Shit- fuck- Woah, I slipped oops-”, the dark-haired rambled, his heartbeats quickening till warm hands grasped onto his shoulders, bringing Sapnap back to reality. He relaxes under the touch.

Sapnap sees Karl in front of him, eyes filled with tenderness, smiling brightly as red adorns his cheeks. “Sapnap. Sappitus Nappitus. Sappy.” the elder calls to him.

Karl sighs and draws in a breath before speaking. “It’s my turn then,” Karl begins.

“Sapnap, remember the first time we’ve met each other? I instantly got comfortable around you. It was one of the best days of my life. I am grateful for you keeping up with my nimrodness and telling me when I become too much. I appreciate your presence in everything, from streams to just being beside me. Lately, you’ve been so around me and I don’t mind. Not at all, welcomed even.” Karl meekly looks down, trying to gather more courage. “You’re handsome even if I rarely get to see your face, well… before we met up. Your simps have taste.”, the brunet jokes, making both of them laugh, lightening up the mood briefly.

Ardent affection fills Karl, gripping Sapnap’s shoulders stronger as he looks back up to him. “Now to be serious, I want to be there to share your joy and hold you when you’re vulnerable. Don’t get me started with touching you- I just want to hold your hands, and cuddle, and just- I don’t know?” And slowly, Karl’s hands crawled up, cradling and caressing the dark-haired boy’s face like he’s his entire world. “My words fail me sometimes, but I hope my touches could speak for me instead.”

Karl ducks his head as he draws in a deep breath. Both hearts thunder in anticipation, heavy feelings forming inside them. 

He looks up, face stern yet with adoration for the boy in front of him. “In short, I  _ like _ like you. I love you too.”, he declared with affection. With sweetness. With finality.

Sapnap wishes that this isn’t a daydream out of his wishful thoughts. Karl’s grip grounds him to reality, reminding him that yes, this is  _ real _ . 

_ Holy fucking shit. _

The younger bumps his forehead with the other, exhaustion catching up with him as he giggles awkwardly. 

_ Holy fuck, Karl likes me back. _

Warmth blooms in Sapnap’s cheeks and insides, feeling so light, like walking on air. The Texan comes down when he feels circular patterns pressing on the sides of his face. Sapnap lays his gaze on Karl’s face, currently beaming at him like the sun. The sight is sweet and sappy, like honey. He smiles back at his beloved.

“Hey.” Sapnap breaks the silence first.

“Hello there, handsome.”

The younger gulps. “So, what do you want us to be?”, he asked, tone slightly wavering. Sapnap hopes they’re not going too fast with whatever this is.

Tenderly, Karl answers, “Whatever you want us to be.”

“Boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends.”, The other affirms.

Sapnap darts his eyes around before coming back to the North Carolinian’s face. With raised eyebrows and an inquisitive look, he asks light-heartedly, “Is this the part where we kiss or...”

“Maybe one long kiss or something. After that, just pecks and hugs. I want to take things slow.”, Karl responds, dragging out the vowels. Sapnap accepts his answer, the boy knows he’s patient enough, he’ll wait for Karl no matter how long it takes.

Slowly, Sapnap snakes his hands to cup Karl’s cheeks as he looks at him directly, the latter leaning to his touch. Lidded hazel-green eyes stare at icy gray ones and travel to the other’s lips before returning to their starting position; a silent proposal being offered. Karl nods, an affirmation that he wants— needs this. The two tilt their heads and seal the small gap between them.

Lips messily crash with one another from inexperience, yet full of yearning, of messages untold. It didn’t feel like fireworks against his skin, unlike what Sapnap heard from the movies. It was warm and slow and sweet, like honey dripping from a jar. Just the pace they wanted to go with, the two have all the time in the world after all. Soon, they had to pull away, lest they want to go lightheaded from the lack of oxygen.

Sapnap  _ melts _ at Karl’s loving gaze. His boyfriend (holy shit) holding him like he’s the entire world. And Karl thinks that yes _ , Sapnap is his entire world _ .

“Thank god, I get to do this now.”, Karl says, looking at him with mirth as he comes closer to Sapnap, filling his entire view. The latter feels fleeting touches littering his face, ticklish yet welcome. Pecks to his cheeks, forehead, to the corner of his mouth; everywhere. Sapnap laughs at feeling while trying to fend Karl off.

Their tiny bubble pops as Sapnap remembers about their time together. “Maybe do this as much as you can since you know...”, he trails off, a hint of sadness present in his tone. Karl having to return to North Carolina looms over them.

One of Karl’s hands travels itself to scratch at the soft hair on Sapnap’s nape, comforting the younger. The hand pushes, leading Sapnap’s head to rest on the older’s shoulder. The dark-haired boy inhales Karl’s smell of scented candles and lavender shampoo, a sensation that he will miss soon. “Sap, my love.”, Karl whispers. The boy in question perks up at the nickname.  _ That felt really nice _ . “Remember, take it slow? Let’s live a little.”, Karl reminds him, voice laced with patience.

Sapnap answers with a content hum, nuzzling into Karl’s neck further, breath tickling the older. He thanks his past self for planning out this entire thing, else the pining would’ve eaten him from inside out. He now gets to hold Karl, be lost in those steel-gray eyes, and sing praises and declarations of love to the other.

At last, he can indulge, even just for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway nerds im speedrunning another fic rn its karlnap (angsty as usual bc it's valentines n fuck valentines /lh) gotta git gud first see ya
> 
> twitter: @nicotohell yeah surprise

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this because i fell into karlnap bc their dynamic is so POGCHAMP like holy shit. i was also feeling gay and soft when i started writing this and wanted to get those feelings out bc makes me so giddy that i literally cant sleep without adding some part to this.
> 
> i also love karl im just hajkasfaskasd
> 
> btw im trying to add karl's part to this. hopefully...
> 
> also that weed karlnap fic is still living in my mind rent free. what a banger fic we need more fics in this tag


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